Memories can be either good or bad but they will come to us and to our children. Lactantius said, “Memory tempers prosperity, mitigates adversity, controls youth and delights old age.” So what kind of memories will those of us who are parents create for our children?
“My parents had great faith in God and in God’s word.”
The number of times children see parents bow their heads and open their Bibles will pay dividends no bank could every measure. Of course, it’s not about our agenda or doing it for publicity but rather, it is about our custom. Do we bother to pray or are we bothered to do it? Do we have the mind to seek God’s counsel or do we have to be reminded constantly to seek it? Memories can be fabricated. But lasting memories are rarely scripted. We need to be reminded that what our children see at home is what they remember most. And may it be that they see that we have real faith in God and His word.
“My parents were passionate about worship.”
When there is no good reason for our absences, children know it. Or if we make no sacrifice to attend worship, children know it. Recently, a dad told me about talking with his son about weekend activities that might infringe on Sunday worship and the son interrupted, “I don’t want to do it if I have to miss church.” That son so spoke because of what parents had already modelled for him in their own passion to worship above everything else – not because he knew church dogma. Regularly letting our children miss for anything from sports to schoolwork only creates the memory that other things really are more important than the passion to worship. We need to be sure that what our children learn at home is that we are passionate about worship.
“My parents were godly about their morals.”
When children grow up, they learn morals from their parents. That does not mean children will never sin. But, parents should remember that if we do not teach our children to love God and to live by His standards, the world will teach them to do the very opposite. Kids need to learn at home that virginity is a virtue – not an oddity. They need to learn that the “marriage bed is to be undefiled” (Hebrews 13:5) and consequently, infidelity in a marriage is condemned as well as living together without marriage. Just recently a young man told me he broke up with his girlfriend because she “cheated on him” when he was away. He wanted a person committed to godly morals. And that for him began at home. We need to be sure that real morals begin at home.
“My parents were compassionate and kind.”
Like the ones listed above, these are all observable. As Paul wrote, “If I speak… but have not love, I become a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal” (1Corinthians 13:1). This love propels our behavior in an observably right direction. When my children smack their gum, why am I surprised since I do too? If my children have no compassion or kindness with others, _______ we know the rest. We need to be sure that what our children learn at home is that we are compassionate and kind to everyone – whether the person is the lovable or the unlovable.
Only Jesus, of course, was perfect in all this. I know I am not. But He left an example that we should try every day to follow. It will only make us happier and make our children happier as we build beautiful memories for them by really and simply — following Him.