by Don Hooton
Someone recently suggested we need to do a better job of reviewing and exhorting Christians regarding the dangers of porn. And it is not just dangerous; it is pervasive. A recent Covenant Eyes statistic indicated that 93% of boys will view online pornography before they reach the age of 18. The same source says that 62% of girls will view online porn before they are 18. This issue for boys, teens and men is enormous; but based on the wide popularity of 50 Shades of Grey (2015), it is clearly an issue for girls and women too. The problem with porn is marriages and families it has destroyed. It warps sexual realities for single man and woman with a fix their dating does not provide and it breeds in young people a false view of sexuality. While the problem is clearly widespread, it doesn’t need to be this way. What do we need to remember?
Viewing pornography denigrates my spouse. This should be a no-brainer. When we intentionally view porn and/or even “soft” porn, are we not telling our wives that they’re not good enough for us? When we lock on muscle clad bodies, are we not telling our husbands what they lack? In whatever way we rationalize it away, our actions speak loudest. Job said long ago, “I have made a covenant with my eyes. How then could I look at a young woman? For what portion would I have from God above, or what inheritance from the Almighty on high?… Does he not see my ways and number all my step s?” (Job 31:1-4). If we’re finding pleasure in others other than our spouses, how else do we expect them to feel?
Viewing pornography robs my spouse of my complete fidelity. According to covenant eyes contributor, J.T. Waresak, pornography is a sexual experience for most men. The passion and sexual emotions tied to it connect us to its addictiveness. Yet, sexual passion and emotional intimacy that accompanies sex is meant only for one other person–your spouse.
Viewing pornography negatively impacts your children. No one is an island and there is no sin committed that doesn’t impact those around us. Children are far from being as resilient as people often say. Marriages are foundational anchors for children. It is the air they breathe as they grow. Pornography poisons that air. When children discover parents who choose self-gratification over loving the other parent or the whole family as they should, it’s a monumental crash to their system. By choosing to view pornography, we put our children’s futures at risk to a broken home and a potential ruined pattern in their own lives.
Viewing pornography is a form of adultery. Jesus stated it simply, “that everyone who looks at a woman with lustful intent has already committed adultery with her in his heart” (Matthew 5:28). There’s no way to sugarcoat it. This is not to say that looking is adultery. However, we know this is a forbidden road and we need to stop ourselves. Our walk with God, our marriage and our family is at stake. If you are being tempted, pray to God and after you remind yourself that 1) marriage is the covenant He established between you and 2) there is the covenant of your eyes with your spouse you must honor, seek help. In God’s marriage covenant, there is total provision and protection. As we cling to God and our spouse, God will pull us close and grow our marriages.
Viewing pornography weakens your fellowship with God. As a Christian, this should be the strongest reason to keep us from pornography (or any other sexual sin). Consider what Joseph said, “So how could I do this immense evil, and how could I sin against God?” (Genesis 39:9). As a Christian, our relationship with God needs to define who we are and how we live. We are called by Christ to offer our body as a living sacrifice (Romans 12:1) which certainly includes how we uphold the sacred covenant of marriage.
We need to address what has become an epidemic in our modern world by remembering what it does. And just as it is our choice what we put in our bodies, it is our choice what our eyes look long upon. And if you need help, several resources are available: