Recently on Facebook, several friends shared an insightful article from Shane L. Bishop. Below are my thoughts that repeat and embellish the things he shared as Thanksgiving is upon us.
First, there is a lot to love about Thanksgiving. We don’t buy each other gifts. There is no name exchange. No credit line increase is needed either. All you need is food to cook, food to share, and food to clean up. Simple. Also, the narrative about Thanksgiving in America is generally standard. Bishop wrote, ‘I am glad we don’t have fictional stories on Thanksgiving. No one wants to hear about the Thanksgiving Puritan riding in a magical Buggy pulled by anti-biotic and steroid free turkeys who travel all over the world on Thanksgiving Eve delivering unusually appreciative children cans of canned, gelatinous cranberry sauce and tossing in corporately sponsored can openers. Thanksgiving is about turkey, dressing, mashed potatoes, gravy, your Nana’s special dish and desserts made of pumpkins, cherries and pecans. It is about family, friends and football but most of all it is about taking time to remember. Thanksgiving is where we have conversations with people long since gone who sit in empty chairs in the houses of our childhoods. We smile at them and they smile back. We used to sing a song at church called, “Count Your Blessings” and for me, Thanksgiving is a time to do just that. “Count your blessings, name them one by one.”’
So here are my 10 ways to make the day more memorable – and what I believe will make the day all if can be for me – and for you.
- Stay at the table. Set a timer for an hour. No one leaves. Start the meal with everyone at the table and ask everyone (all ages) to share 2-3 things that makes the day so special and things for which they are thankful. My kids know it is coming – so they are usually prepared. But when you start it, it makes the day about the joy that giving thanks will bring – even before you eat your mom’s special cranberry sauce.
- Keep it human. No phones at the table. Keep them in your back pocket or in the living room. Spend that time with people around the table – not on Facebook. I’ve been the worst offender of this in the past. But this year, no phone for me. Now, sometimes our memories and our joys are in sharing reels or funnies that make us all laugh. Bishop suggested punishment for an unmuted phones and even carrying it over to the following year. I’d say, just make it all about the humans around you.
- Give thanks. Don’t say the prayer you say in the assembly. Make the prayer full of all the things your humans have just said for which they are all thankful. Don’t time it. Don’t make it short and sweet. Let the potatoes cool a bit. You can always put them in the microwave. Bishop said to do it “Heads bowed, eyes closed, [and] holding hands.” I couldn’t agree more.
- Remember those who are missing. Every year, there are always those we love that we lose. Speak out their names. In my own grief of losing people I love, I realized that this was the hardest part for me. “Thank you Lord for Jon” were the hardest words I remember saying when he was gone. But when I remember, not only do I place their lives and their love for me (and all of us) on the altar of remembrance and gratitude, I declare again to the God that I adore that I believe their soul is forever in His care – and implicitly affirm that we all will meet again.
- Share your memories. Tell your favorite Thanksgiving stories. Bishop said to talk about “The year of the huge Thanksgiving blizzard. The year when it was like summer outside and everyone went on a walk. The big family football game of 1972. The sweet potato casserole debacle of 2001. When the dog ate the turkey.” We have done the same – but it always pours over into other family legendary memories that need to be spoken again and again because it shares the soul of family life: togetherness.
- Talk. Bishop wrote, “Laugh, Count Your Blessings, and tell the people around you just how much you love them.” Silence is golden – except at thanksgiving. Sometimes the rules of politeness and no interruptions can be broken – especially when it is your children lighting up with the joy of thanksgiving. You teach them more by letting them “give thanks in all things” rather than “waiting their turn”. My opinion. But, talk is where thanksgiving is expressed, not in the restriction of rules.
- Serve. It’s a family thing for us. Even our adult kids have learned that they bring something to the table – and they help clear the table and clean dishes. If everyone helps, everyone gets more time together. Don’t leave mom in the kitchen alone. She doesn’t need to be the only one serving – maybe we need to serve her for her long life of serving us from the cradle? Further, if your table is full this year, be sure to remember those whose table is not – and perhaps find a way to make it more abundant for others just like God has done for your table.
- One don’t. I like what Bishop said: “Don’t talk politics. If anyone does, construct them a home-made political button denoting the opposite party and touting the name of their least favorite president of all time. Make them wear it all day.” And if they do, “no pie.”
- Accept everything. Nothing will ever be perfect. Your crust won’t brown just the right way. The turkey may be dry. They may not have your preferred drink to go with the meal. So what? You are with the people that the Lord has shared in your life. Bishop said, “No matter how things go, at least you [will not be] a turkey.” And for that matter, don’t be a ham either.
- Remember the Source of all Good. Even the wise man said, “Remember your Creator in the days of your youth before the evil days come” (Ecclesiastes 12:1). So, make the day, the weekend, and rest of your life, about enumerating all things we so easily forget – and for which we keep forgetting to give thanks. Tell God “I thank you.” Tell God “I praise you.” Tell God “I love you.” How else can you truly experience thanksgiving until you can? “My soul, bless the Lord, and all that is within me, bless his holy name. My soul, bless the Lord, and do not forget all his benefits” (Psalm 103:1-2). So, “Give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you” (1Thessalonisans 5:18).
Hope this helps. So, let’s all get busy giving some thanks!